Love & Thunder

Isn't there something so alluring about Autumn air? It so crisp, so clean. This time of year always creates a certain type of buzz in me. I went to a gorgey type of place today about an hour from my home. I wore my favorite Columbia fleece and stuffed my hands in the pockets to keep warm. It was a place with waterfalls and deep ravines, little streams turning in and out of bends. There were a few painters and sketch artists there trying to capture the beauty that wouldn't stand still. Being in that place made my heart yearn for something, yearn for peace...I felt like I could have just sat on a rock by that cliff for hours and cried. Beauty makes my heart ache sometimes. As I stood there wiping my hair from my face from the breeze I felt like if I couldn't live in that ravine forever then I wanted to fold it up and take it with me in my pocket. I just want to live in beauty, or at least take beautiful things and offer them to the not so beautiful parts of this world...something beautiful just sends peace to a burdened soul. I woke up with so much on my mind this morning I have been searching for peace all day.

I am currently stuck between what was and what is to come. What's coming is the last thing I had planned for my life at this time. Yes, the very last thing. I am not ready to give up my independence or the freedom accompanied by singleness. I had plans, I wanted to travel, study abroad, I just had plans that were not this. But now that I met him, that we were brought together...I'm in the middle of slaying everything else that doesn't line up with this plan. Some of my dreams have gone unrealized, I have to give them up for His plan for me. As much as this hurts right now...letting go of what I wanted and deemed important I have much hope that this plan will somehow be better, much better.

I was listening to an Andrew Peterson album today and in one of his songs he said "love holds together what broke apart" and I couldn't help but think of hearts. My heart and every other broken heart out there. How Jesus' love binds the broken hearted...His love holds together what broke apart...it just makes me want to be so near Him...just for healing.

"I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life WITHOUT COST"
-Revelation 21:6

...Without cost...without cost...I LOVE how Jesus invites me to come close to Him without cost. I can pull my chair closer to Him at the table without cost. I can talk to Him without cost. I can be accepted without cost...that has been healing me in ways since I read it. I can inherit Him without cost...I am His inheritance and He is mine...without cost.
When Heaven's only answer is the silence of God He is still Good. Deeply Deeply good....inherently good. He is our GOOD portion...and I have a feeling that everything I had to lose is coming back 1,000 times in Him.

Be free :)